Clone Wars Commercials
by Rexness613
Summary: The Republic and the Seperatists are running out of money... so what happens? They make our favorite charcters star in commercials! Different commercial each chapter ranging from Allstate to Zoo ads.
1. Allstate

**Allstate**

Count Dooku clung to the side of a speeder, just beside the window smiling evilly.

"I'm the blind spot on your car. I have a job: I hide big things." Dooku then looked in the car. "That's right; go ahead and turn." He told the driver, who saw nothing but blue skies out his window. The unsuspecting driver turned right into another speeder causing them both to crash in slo-mo while Dooku laughed evilly at the plight. When the smoke had cleared Dooku got up and looked into the camera.

"Get Allstate so that if something like this happens, you don't end up like him because of me."

_Allstate: Are you in good hands?_


	2. State Farm

**State Farm**

Anikan and Ahsoka were both sitting in the mess… nothing to do… soooooo bored… when suddenly; Anikan had a very random idea.

"Do you think it would work?"

"What?"

"Like in the State Farm commercials?"

"You mean where they go: 'Like a good neighbor State Farm is there!'" At that moment Obi-wan magically appeared out of nowhere sitting next to Anikan.

"YOU WORK FOR STATE FARM INSURANCE?" Anikan yelled out of shock.

"It's a part time job…" Obi-wan said, rubbing his ear which was ringing from Anikan's scream.

"Oh…" Anikan sighed, still not sure. "So, ummm, wow, it does work…"

"WITH A PSP SYSTEM." Ahsoka said, just as a PSP popped into her hands.

"And a Coke." added Anikan. Obi-wan rolled his eyes. Wow… really? This is why he was here? Obi-wan magically disappeared out of existence, we're not still not sure how he does it, as Anikan and Ahsoka continued to randomly summon things into existence.

_We are farmers! Bum-duh-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum_


	3. Overly Dramatic Soap Opera Commercials

**A/N: :D This is actually pretty fun :3 So you know those super annoying Soap Opera commercials that are**

**always popping up on the TV? Well our hero's must star in one!1! ****Obi-wan is so totally British. ENJOY :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars the Clone Wars or any of the commercials.**

* * *

><p><strong>Overly Dramatic Soap Opera Shows Commercial 1<strong>

Anikan and Padme where sitting in a room together when Padme realized she needed groceries. She got up and

went to walk out of the room when Anikan spoke up.

"Where you going?" He asked out of utter boredom.

"Grocery store. I'm out of food." Padme proceeded out the door while Anikan sat dumbfounded. OUT OF FOOD!

This truly was a crisis…

* * *

><p>Rex, Cody and Ahsoka were sitting in a cafeteria… where I do not know… when suddenly Rex realized. They were<p>

out of chocolate. Rex, saddened by this tragedy remained quiet for a while as his friends chatted away. When

they noticed Ahsoka looked up at Rex worried.

"What's wrong Rex?" She said concerned for her companion.

"I just realized… that… we're out of chocolate." Ahsoka and Cody gasped before falling into their friends' sadness.

After moment Ahsoka looked at the two clones in determination.

"If we've run out of chocolate we shall just have to get more!" And with that they set off on an epic journey to get

more chocolate.

* * *

><p>Obi-wan smiled. It was 4:00 in the afternoon. Obi-wans' favorite time of day. High tea! Obi-wan walked over to<p>

the cupboard only to head straight into the greatest tradegy he'd faced in along time….. …..

THERE WAS NO TEA. He fell onto the floor with sadness. Tea time was the number one thing looked forward to

each day… this was a true crisis…

* * *

><p><strong>If anyone<strong> **wants to take up Padmes' grocery trip, Obi-wans break down, or Rex, Cody and Ahsokas' **

**chocolate trip of wonder feel ****free to do so! But plz ask first**


	4. Captel

**A/N: O_o Am I the only creeped out by Captel. XD LOL anyway :D Thanks for all the reviews :D I didn't think this would have popularity at all :D You guys proved me wrong :) I'll upload next chapter soon as I can.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Captel or SWCW or any franchises related to it.**

* * *

><p><strong>Captel<strong>

Anikan answered his phone with surprise.

"Master Yoda? It's been a long time…" Anikan mused.

"Mmmm long it has been. Hear you, I did not. So call I did not."

"… then how are you calling now?" Anikan asked extremely confused.

"Have a new communicator I do! Caption every word you say it does. Before it, annoying calls were. Changed that has so call you I do."

"Ohhh… so why did you call?"

"Missing, Obi-wan is. Find him you must."

"Yes master I'm on my way."

_Captel. Relay Ohio._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Review Replys :D :<em>**

**_SweetyDeath: _**_XD Glad you like i__t_

_**captainrexbest35**: :D Glad you're liking this and thanks for the comments! :) Thanks for the suggestions too, I'll take them into my consideration_

_**TheRighterzPen**: XD YUSH! CRAZY XD_

_**Skywalker**: Glad you like it :)_

_**Kashagal**: Glad I surprised you :)_

_**Pergjithshme**: Yeah... I forgot the disclaimers on a few :) I'll try to remember them_

_**AaylaKit**: XD HAHA :P Not a tea fan myself but I made it too entertain people who are XD Glad I accomplished my purposes_


	5. Boursin cheese

**A/N: Sorry =_=" Couldn't be on :D But I'm back with the other chapter. I'd actually typed these at the same time but had limited time to update :D HOPE YOU LIKE**

* * *

><p><strong>Boursin<strong>

Padme came in and gave Anikan a pat on the shoulder as she walked into the kitchen.

"Thanks for going shopping for me Ani!" She said with a smile.

"No prob." He said as he worked on the small tablet in his hands.

"Everyone is going to be here in a minute."

"Awesome!" he said in a tired and slightly sing-song voice.

"What's with the new brand of cheese?" Padme asked while holding a cute little green box with 'Boursin' on the side.

"I thought it looked good so I bought." He returned lazily.

"You thought it looked good?" She emphasized 'looked' with an irritated voice.

"Not as good as you." He said in a hasty voice attempting to stay on the senators' good side causing an eye roll on Padmes' part. She then proceeded to take out the cheese, spread some on a cracker and try it and smiled finding it was pretty good.

"Nice pick." She said walking over and giving him a tap on the shoulder.

"Boom." He replied smirkily with an 'I told you so' look on his face.

"This time." She said with equal cheekiness before walking back into the kitchen.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Review Reply:<em>**

**_XironbeastX: I'll try to come up with something ;)_**


	6. Old Spice

**A/N: Look at your humor fic. Now look at mine. Your humor fic could be mine if...**

* * *

><p><strong>Mace<strong>** on Magical Powers of Old Spice**

Mace sat on a pile of droids, legs crossed looking generally awesome since that's pretty much what George Lucas, Dave Filloni, and multiple Fanfiction authors paid him to

do. He then held up and ignited his lightsaber.

"Look at your lightsaber, then look at mine, again, look out the window, pet your cat, eat some cheese, drink blue milk, brush your teeth, your breath is terrible, just like

you, look at my lightsaber, and then yours again. Mine is better, having been created by me and its freaking purple. It's not yours, but it could be yours…" He then paused

dramatically before holding up a small bottle of deodorant, "if you used Old Spice."

For no reason to ever be explained he took three steps and was on Naboo.

"Smell your arm. That's right do it. Now look at me and then do it again. I'm better than you so therefore must smell better. You could smell like me if…" He paused

dramatically again. "You had Old Spice."

He then held up his hand.

"LOOK IN MY PRECIOUS HAND. It's those holotickets you want but can't have. And now they are diamonds. AND NOW THEY ARE CLONES. Everything is possible with Old

Spice. I AM ON A RANCOR."

* * *

><p><strong>You used old spice. RAAAAAAAAAAAANCOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRR<strong>

* * *

><p><strong><em>Review Reply:<em>**

_**AaylaKit: Ummmmmm I have no idea 030**_

_**captainrexbest35: Lol thanks :)**_

_**Kashagal and Natures Ruler: Glad you enjoy :) By the way, awesome name :D**_

_**SnipsSkywalker: YOUR WISH SHALL BE GRANTED! WAHCHACHA! Also glad you like it :D 3**_


	7. Sham-Wow

**A/N: I know how she feels :/ I mean can you blame her?!**

* * *

><p><strong>Asajj "Loves" Sham-Wow<strong>

Asajj was kicked onto what's supposed to look like concrete even though it's obvious this whole thing is being faked indoors. She growls gets up and walks back off

camera but, after several screams, lightsaber noises, and yelling, she stomps back on stage with a murderous smile on her face.

"This is Sham-wow. It cleans stuff." Holding the said rag in hand and maintaining the dead shark smile. After an off-screen prompt to continue she goes on.

"It contains a revolutionary new, amazing, and assuredly non-lethal substance that will in no way burn your hands and poison you if it enters a cut or is ingested. It

cleans fantastically." She then proceeded to uselessly smear soapy water onto the car leaving dozens of horrible smudges on it that in no way made it any cleaner than it

had been when the producer had paid the random ten year olds to fling "mud" at it.

"Call now at 1-888-888-888888888-888888-8-888888888888-888-88888-888-888888-88-8. Must be 58 or older to call." A bunch of random unhelpful information flashed

on the screen as a new bout of screams erupted in the background accompanied by manic laughter while a barely noticeable lawsuit avoidance thing popped up in the

corner, but it was too small for anyone to notice, and sadly, no one got to tell you if you called then, you'd get one percent off after buying a gross of the rags. Or that

Mace was on a rancor. The end.

* * *

><p><strong>It cleans stuffs : Next up I'm gonna try Aflac :D QUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAACCCCC CCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**


	8. TvBoss

**A/N: I've had this for a while but I'm just getting to posting it (-_-") Sorry. Anyways I'm working on an Aflac one involving Rex :P That should be fun. Not sure **

**this is all the great but I tried. Anyways enjoy :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Ahsoka Blocks Hondo bc <strong>

Hondo sat in an office somewhere on Coruscant thinking about his new show. It had girls and explosions and everything. He was in the office-somewhere-on-Coruscant to see if the military would air it. Just in time Ahsoka walked in.

"Hey… Hondo…" she seemed awkward… Oh well! Teenagers heh.

"SOOOOoooooooooooooooo what time is good for you! Are going for six?" Hondo immediately got up and slapped his arm around her back, parading her around the office as he talked; much to the annoyance of the office workers

"Um Hondo-"

"I've heard that's military primetime!"

"Hondo."

"If 6 isn't good I can do 5:30… Maybe."

"_Hondo._"

"But I will do no less than 5:00"

"HONDO!"

"What!?"

"We can't air your show." Hondo gasped. This was completely and in all ways inconceivable!

"What do you mean you won't air my show! This an outrage! An offence! A defense! I want my money back!"

"What?! NO! I mean! Just _listen_. We believe if it isn't fit for the troops."

"…They were for war."

"Yes, I know but it's not the violence we're worried about."

"Then what?!"

"The… girls. They aren't exactly trained for _that_. That was the GARs commanders concern. Not only that but it shows extreme violence as a good thing. That was the Jedis problem. The Coruscant Censorship Committee believed that woman were shown in a bad lit and… well… your show was rejected over 100 times."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! 100 times?! How could this happen!?" _Half a million ways_. Ahsoka had the thought but kept quiet. The council had said to play nice.

"Sorry Hondo. We're gonna have to block you." Hondo stormed out of a huff.

"And after all I've done for them too!"

_TvBoss. Make The Rules. Know The Ratings._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Review Reply:<strong>_

_**Kashagal: Heh :D Really? I've never tasted duck before.**_

_**the wolf chronicles: Me too... Nah just Padme :P I know what you mean! Heh :)**_

_**thorn: Everyone seems to think so :P Did it work?!**_

_**ValkayrieCain4Ever: Already got an Aflac one planned but if I ever do another one I'll keep it in mind :)**_

_**Guest: I have no idea really I swear I've seen it spelled six different ways.**_

_**WhovianJedi: Great name and glad you're enjoying this :D**_

_**DanceAlpineRaceRead: Thanks :) Hahaha I know right?**_


End file.
